Dissertazione semi seria in materia di uomini moderni e amori che buttano il cuore oltre l’ostacolo.
Vivian Ward e Kit De Luca sono due giovani ragazze dagli infelici trascorsi familiari che sbarcano il lunario come lavoratrici del sesso lungo la Hollywood Boulevard. Sono molto amiche e si proteggono a vicenda.
Edward Lewis, un ricco e potente affarista di New York perso per le vie di Los Angels e incapace di guidare la sua Lotus, si imbatte in Vivian e dal chiederle indicazioni, passa al lasciarle il volante facendosi portare in hotel. Scoprendo la professione di Vivian, approfitta dell’occasione di avere un’accompagnatrice con cui presentarsi a importanti incontri d’affari e le offre 3.000 $ per stare con lui per tutta la permanenza in California.
La cosa però deraglia dai binari della relazione cliente-fornitore quando i due si baciano.
Vivian confessa con Kit, che prima la sgrida, ma poi le dà speranza che la cosa possa passare dal rapporto professionale a quello amoroso e porta come esempio di un caso in cui “ha funzionato” Cenerentola, usando la memorabile frase “Quella gran culo di Cenerentola!”
Non rovino la sorpresa a nessuno se dico che Kit prevede correttamente il futuro di Vivian, soprattutto perché Pretty Woman è uno dei film culto della generazione dei Millennials.
Quello che però mi ha sempre fatto riflettere di quel film – che di fatto è un commediola romantica di cui il finale è spoilerato dalla dolcezza del viso di Julia Roberts sin dalla sua prima inquadratura – è proprio quella frase: Quella gran culo di Cenerentola.
In effetti Cenerentola è stata proprio una gran culo! Ha avuto una fortuna epocale a trovare un principe azzurro che non è come tutti gli altri.
Guardiamo bene le altre fiabe Disney, ovvero quelle non originali ma che ci hanno culturalmente influenzati: Robin Hood va con Lady Marion che è una lady, Aurora è una principessa e il Principe Filippo è… un principe (va’ che spoiler!) e pure suo promesso sposo dall’inizio del film, Ariel è principessa in mare e Eric in terra. Belle, Jasmine e Pochaontas non hanno avuto un gran culo (il mostro, lo straccione e l’invasore). Le principesse femministe non fanno testo.
L’unica è Biancaneve, che ha una storia molto simile. In Biancaneve però la cattiva Grimilde muore. In Cenerentola invece, le 3 (TRE!) antagoniste restano vive.
Parliamo di Cenerentola ora. La madre muore, il padre sposa una megera e muore. La megera eredita tutto e spadroneggia per casa con le due orribile figlie. Cenerentola, senza un protettore, espropriata dei titoli e delle proprietà e relegata nei locali di servizio, si trova al gradino più basso della società, parla con gli animali e continua a cantare felice e beota.
Beota, non beata. Ma santo cielo, sei giovane, sei belle, sai cantare… ma almeno scappa di casa e tenta la carriera della cantante! E invece no, Cenerentola spazza, stira, cucina e si fa torturare dalle sue sorellastre e pure dal gatto, al punto che deve arrivare una forza trascendente (la Fata madrina) per darle un po’ una smossa; si rimbocca la bacchetta e fa una magia che la mia bis-nonna sintetizzerebbe così: ‘na lavada, ‘na sugada e la par gnanca ‘duperada (una lavata, un’asciugata e non sembra che sia già stata usata).
Ed ecco Cenerentola pronta per andare ad un ballo che nemmeno per l’anticamera del cervello le sarebbe prima apparso come possibilità.
Cenerentola non manca di talento o intelligenza, non manca di risorse, altrimenti mai avrebbe avuto la resilienza che dimostra nel tollerare le tre streghe cantando con topi e uccelli e altri animali da cortile.
È solo una ragazza che non pensa di meritarsi niente di meglio.
E di sicuro non è la sola, vero?
Veniamo al Principe. Il principe di Cenerentola.
A parte che in italiano si chiama Pippo (!!!) e questo già lo rende unico, ma non è un principe come gli altri.
È ricco, è nobile – e ok. Ma, confrontandolo con gli altri “Principi azzurri”, si distacca parecchio:
- Eric (Ariel): prima di venir salvato da Ariel stava festeggiando il suo compleanno con alcol e droghe su una barca pagata dallo Stato;
- Filippo (Aurora): era già promesso sposo di Aurora dalla nascita – salutiamo i matrimoni combinati;
- Quello di Biancaneve: no comment, un rapace che le salta alle spalle mentre lei canta in un pozzo – salutiamo le molestie sessuali.
I principi non azzurri, non sono azzurri, quindi sono loro i “gran culo”. Nell’ordine:
- Adam (Belle): è trasformato in una bestia, deve baciarsi i gomiti che ha trovato una abbastanza colta da andare oltre;
- Aladdin (Jasmine): è uno straccione, ladro, truffatore, mi pare ovvio che si voglia infilare a palazzo – Robin Hood è la versione “di sinistra”;
- John Smith (Pocahontas): è un colonialista anglofono pieno di pregiudizi sui nativi, ci vuole tutto un film per fargli cambiare idea.
La situazione Pippo-Cenerella è ben diversa.
Lui e Cenerentola non si sono mai visti prima del ballo e a lei non frega nulla di lui, né in quanto maschio, né in quanto principe.
Va al ballo per il ballo, perché ha l’età per andarci, e quando sembra non poterci andare perché non ha il vestito minimizza dicendo “Cosa sarà mai un ballo?” – e non “Che pacco non conoscere il principe”.
Al ballo conosce effettivamente il principe e sta con lui fino a mezzanotte a ballare e conversare, ma quando la campana scocca il primo rintocco, lei si alza di scatto e abbandona il tizio che ha di fronte dicendo distrattamente “Devo andare… Oh, il principe.. Non ho nemmeno conosciuto il principe. Addio!”.
È qui che entra in scena l’unicità di Pippo. Prima di tutto non si offende di questa “ignoranza” di Cenerentola e poi non molla l’osso e si prefigge l’obiettivo di trovare quella ragazza con cui ha trascorso una serata così piacevole ballando e conversando.
La cerca, la trova e, udite udite, se la piglia nonostante enormi ostacoli, tra i quali: lei è povera, diseredata, stracciona, orfana e con una famiglia acquisita di merda. Ma vi ci vedete voi con la matrigna come “suocerastra”? Oh god!
E quindi ode a Pippo, botta di culo per la vita di Cenerentola ed eroe moderno dell’amore senza barriere!
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